I’m squarely in mid-life, 42 years old, a mom to two, no longer a “young” doctor or young entrepreneur or young voice. Perhaps because of that, I’m starting to see things differently when it comes to raising boys and girls to support equality.
I’m a feminist. I think that means I don’t want gender/sex to get in the way of any individual. I was raised with a mom and dad who didn’t present a world of possibilities different for me than the one they presented for my brother. At least not that I could see. I’ve been mentored, supported, encouraged, and nurtured as a woman in the workplace, and a mother in my community, by female mentors like my mom and my advisor in college (a professor of psychology who studies gender), current and past colleagues, advisors, employers and co-workers, and dear friends. But more than ever before I’m feeling the profound support I’ve had from men in my life to be an active, striving-for-equal opportunity physician and advocate. In some ways it’s easier for me because I have the fortune to work as a physician in pediatrics, a field of physicians with a majority of women. In fact, 3/4 of the pediatric resident physicians in the US are women. It’s complicated though, so if interest consider reading, “The Good and Bad Statistics On Women In Medicine.”
However, now more than ever,
I’m starting to feel it isn’t my voice that will make things better for equal rights at large as time unfolds, it’s the voice of my boys.
Obviously this isn’t only about women supporting women. My strongest and perhaps most loyal advisors during my medical school education and during my residency training were both men who have helped me see and also helped me strategically carve out ways to get work done while also having children. I’d describe my residency mentor as one of the biggest feminists I’ve ever known. His feminism and support for me persist in my work and life. Exhibit A: I posted a photo in my pink hat on the day of the Women’s March in January and he was the first to comment saying, “I’m with you, Wendy.” He’s 40 years my senior and carries with him an elegant view of different ways to contribute to pediatric health care and also enjoy raising children of my own. Circa 2005, I vividly remember him drawing out, on a napkin, the different kind of career trajectories one could have in pediatrics and public health, describing them in terms of typical gender norms and roles and stating that I could do this — this career and life — any way that fit with my ethos, energy, passion, and tempo. I could adapt a “male” trajectory or a historically “female” one but that all models could work for all people.
Boys and men in my life do show me also how much they include me. Of course, I’ve felt discrimination, too. But this post isn’t about that. It’s about the BIG opportunity of NOW. Read full post »