All Articles in the Category ‘Parenting’

Bigger Peace: Let Fear Spur Presence

FullSizeRender (1)Friday afternoon the terrorist attacks around the world certainly took our collective breath away. The stunning, horrific realities and the wild insecurity we can feel when somewhere familiar becomes unsafe is a potent storyteller. There is something in this though, that we can really listen to.

Things tend to happen in slow motion after this kind of news, almost like they do in our memories during scary recollections of a car accident or a big fall, because when some beloved familiar place is deemed unsafe we can tingle with such scare it pushes us towards vitality. It’s awareness. In ways, the fear these familiarities provoke shrinks the world, changes the scope of what is at stake every single day for every single one of us, and connects us again to how similar we are. Sounds have been crisper under our feet since Friday, the breeze on our face more notable this weekend, and all of a sudden the moment we’re in takes on quite a significance. We can feel so alive and connected to each other in this fear.

We all know fear hones priorities, even momentarily, and reminds us of the sincere gift of a day with those we love. With the news Friday the every day constructed problems at work or in our personal lives dim as the monumental relevance of connection, friendship, family, and freedom again takes on new light. This is a cycle, of course. We cannot hold the intensity and fears of our insecurity in our hands ALL the time to drive presence. Most of us can’t be mindful every single moment either. We’d be muzzled and paralyzed if we let this tincture of storytelling in too much too soon too constantly…but there’s this: Read full post »

U.S. Soccer Bans Headers For Kids Under 10

Soccer HeaderOur kids don’t have to play like the pros, even if we they think they’re ready. I mean really, what’s the rush?? I report this as a pediatrician & as a bona fide soccer mom to 2 boys under age 10:

The U.S. Soccer Federation yesterday announced a ban on “headers” for children under 10 years. There has been no new expert consensus (the new rule rose out of a lawsuit, not new pediatric expert opinion) that heading the ball causes changes/damage to the brain. Although headers have been found to cause concussions, more often children are concussed when hit by a falling ball or after a collision. Research published this fall in JAMA Pediatrics found about 30% of boys’ concussions and 25% of girls’ concussions in high school soccer are a result of heading. Regardless, more research is needed to determine the safety of heading the ball throughout young and late childhood. In the meantime there are 3 things we can all know (and advocate for)  as research teases out early head injury and the influence heading may have over an athlete’s lifetime:

  1. Headers require essential technique to reduce injury: If heading the ball, young players need to learn proper technique (head positioning, neck position, have appropriate muscular strength etc) so using their forehead they reduce likelihood for injury. Most pediatric sports experts opine that this is unlikely to be easy for little players to reliably learn this technique under age 10 years. It’s unclear what degree heading causes concussion and long-standing injury. “Collision,” pediatric experts wrote in 2010 for Pediatrics, “rather than purposeful heading, was found to be the most likely cause for acute head injuries in soccer players treated in emergency departments.” 
  2. Appropriate Balls: We need to reduce risk of injury by ensuring balls are appropriate size for players, that balls are NOT hyper-inflated and thus more firm, and that balls are water-resistant (so as to not take on water and be heavier). Smarter play, smart equipment. 
  3. Smarter Timelines For Rules: Graduated rules like this (no headers under 10, limited headers for young teens, and then routine headers thereafter) make sense. Not all 8 year-olds need to play by the rules of the pros. Why the rush?

Heading among pre-adolescents is usually a random act. Eyes shut. Head scrunched into neck. Shoulders clenched. ~

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Quick Ask This Flu Season: Peer To Peer Protection

If our entire community got the flu vaccine we’d be MUCH less likely to share it. We’d also be much less likely to get influenza. Studies find that about 10-40% of children get influenza each season. Because their immune systems are a bit “naive” to influenza, they are at risk for more serious illness, especially if under age 5 years.

What if parents were the ones to endorse protection from influenza? What if we drove our schools and playgroups and community protection? I want our communities safe and healthy this flu season and our best defense is the flu vaccine, staying home when ill, and covering our coughs. It may be the mom-to-mom-dad-to-dad message that is most powerful…

The match between the flu vaccine (nasal spray and the shot) and circulating strains of influenza are better this year (including the H3N2 strain). That means the flu vaccine will likely be far more effective in protecting our families!

Data has shown us that nearly 1/2 of the adult population does NOT get their flu shot, yet 75% of parents to young children DO get their young children and toddlers vaccinated. Parents really do want their children protected and although pregnant moms are at high risk for flu only about 50% got their flu vaccine last year. Not only does mom get protection of her own health when she gets the vaccine, she passes on antibodies to her baby!

Will you share a video with your community? I created the below series of flu videos in partnership with The American Academy of Pediatrics targeted to specific demographics and age ranges. You can share them via email, social media or in-person. Help me make the case to ensure our kids are healthy and protected this flu season. I’ve provided the videos and links to share them below. Thank you for joining me in avoiding influenza this year. Share one of these videos?

8 & Under: Why Flu Vaccine Is an Every-Year Thing!

Link to share:

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Teens Getting High: DXM Cough Medicine

OTC Cough MedsDrug abuse is on every parent’s mind. We simply don’t want our children to ever go down the road of drug addiction. To empower parents to spot the warning signs and help prevent teen abuse of over-the-counter (OTC) cough medicine containing dextromethorphan (DXM), the Consumer Healthcare Products Association (CHPA) is sharing the results of qualitative and quantitative research of teens. The quantitative (numbers-based) research began in 2013 and is conducted three times a year. Here’s some insight from that data: Read full post »

What You Can Do: Children And Safe Gun Storage

Gun Safety family on hillGun violence is a tricky topic to write about. It’s emotionally laden, there are political overtones that bring out passion and I find quicksand when I never expect it.

No matter where you fall on issues related to firearm safety, there is no doubt that we all want the same thing: healthy communities, healthy families, and safe environments to raise our children.

Unfortunately, we continue to have countless reminders about the curiosity of children in the presence of a loaded firearm. No question children and guns are a dangerous combination.

According to the Behavior Risk Factor Surveillance Survey that is administered nationally by CDC, in 2013, there were an estimated 73,000 Washington state children that resided in homes where guns were loaded and unlocked. Nationally, 1.7 million children and teens in the U.S. live in a home with a loaded, unlocked gun.

Kids don’t always know what to do when they find one, but curiosity leads. In a research study entitled, “Seeing Is Believing,” researchers put boys in a room where there were water guns and pistols and watched behind a mirror while they played. The 8 to 12 year-old boys who stumbled upon a gun had a hard time figuring out it if was a toy or a real gun. When they did find it, almost half pulled the trigger. Half pulled the trigger! CURIOSITY is that innocent, protectable right of children that drives this dangerous act.

I don’t need to detail deaths, but quick mentions of gun-related injuries and tragic losses in America can bring fresh energy for necessary safety measures we are all responsible for, gun owners or not. A 3-year-old in New Mexico shot his parents when he grabbed a gun out of his mother’s purse and not the iPod or phone he was searching for. The mother was pregnant and there was also a 2-year-old girl in the room at the time. In the past month we’ve heard about the horrific tragedies with three shootings on college campuses and the unthinkable tragedy of an 11-year-old who shot an 8-year-old this past month over wanting to see a puppy.

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Know Your Role: Parents and Sports

soccer lightIn any youth game or match there are typically four roles: player, coach, referee, and parent. You only get to choose one. We’re headed off to the first of 3 soccer games today. A joy, really, to watch these little boys enjoy their team, struggle to do their best, wrangle their wits and learn to play on a team. My boys aren’t the star players (that’s for sure) but they love it when something goes well. They work hard for goals that rarely come. They really do enjoy knowing when they’ve passed a ball successfully. There is no question they love feeling they belong on these teams and they really do enjoy playing the game. That’s why we have kept it up.

I used to debrief after the games with my boys — discussing what went well and what didn’t — at first they seemed to love that. And then I heard the advice from other parents ahead of me and from those who have dealt with the not-so-great coaches:

Know your role. You only get one.

In any game or sport there are the players or competitors (your child), there is a coach, and there is the referee keeping it fair. You’re none of those and even if the person in one of those roles isn’t performing at their best it’s earnestly not your job to correct it. You just don’t want to be the backseat driver here (and your child certainly doesn’t want to hear it) and you really don’t want to have the ugly habits we’ve all seen.

In any game or match you’re observing you’re only one thing: the parent.

I’ve spent the last few years telling my boys how much I enjoyed watching them play the game at the end of each game as opposed to discussing how much I liked watching them succeed or how I felt for them while they failed.

I’m thankful for the advice I was given — it’s made the soccer Saturday madness a bit less high-stakes and it’s focused and honed the joy.

I hope the advice I heard helps you, too. I welcome any more advice or pearls you have.

Also, this sign is legendary and spot on:


“Like I Needed Another Reason Not To Sleep At Night”

Today was the Great Shake Out. My boys let me know what happened at 10:15 today at school: “the ‘ole drop, cover, and hold” said my 6 year-old. The technical instructions are “drop, cover, and hold on” but we get his drift. The numbers couldn’t have been better today 10-15-2015 for a 10:15am reminder of how important it is and how good it can feel to know what to do when an earthquake strikes.

Another thing: when you’re having a bad day, why not practice the drop, cover and hold? I mean…..

Okay but seriously, Dr. Suzan Mazor and I are teaming up again to work on updating our emergency/disaster kits. You might have seen us putting together our first kit back in 2010. The New Yorker article that made headlines this summer re-ignited my decision (and remarkable fear) to have a plan in place should the worst happen. You read the article and I know you’ll say, “like I needed another reason not to sleep at night?” Great thing is planning and preparation truly is the antidote to fear.

My REFRESH card prompted me to realized that our water expires this year and it’s pretty obvious since it has nearly evaporated. True.

All instructions for what you need in your kit and what you need in your communication plan are below. You’ve waited until now. Seriously no reason to wait any longer if you don’t have a 3-day kit in place. A promise for me that is easy to make:

I know you’ll feel better having done this.

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Do You RWDD? Pot At Age 12 And Teen Driving

Teen Driving Pie ChartNew acronym for me this week: RWDD. It’s “Riding With a Drinking Driver.” Not a drunk one, but someone who has been drinking. Risky at any age, but particularly when it’s high school. But before I get to that lemme acknowledge that texting has changed the lexicon, upped the capacity for quick communication in our lives, and earnestly transformed some of our relationships. Clearly we’re all learning a ton about shortcuts in communication. I think about this in my personal life but also what impact texting and digital technology has on how we deliver health care, how we partner and listen to populations, how we hear the worries of parents and caregivers and how we share what we know. Sometimes it seems we’re just always trying to catch up. I learned all sorts of new teen texting acronyms & idoms last week on CNN that extend past “lol” and “ICYMI” (see: OOTD, KOTD, and smash <– phew). But no one mentioned RWDD.

A study out yesterday in Pediatrics is worth a quick mention to any parent or any adult or any family doc or any pediatrician or any nurse practitioner or any medical assistant or any coach or any teacher that has contact/supervision/leadership/influence with a teen. The study, conducted on middle school students in the Los Angeles area, found that positive beliefs about marijuana at age 12 were predictors of later getting a DUI or RWDD when a new teen driver 4 years later. Translation: middle school is a wild time of transition and the time we should check in about marijuana’s lack of safety and risks associated with alcohol. Researchers conclude that 6th grade is when we should be talking with our tweens, that “positive beliefs and ability to resist marijuana in early adolescence, not actual alcohol and marijuana use, had the strongest association with DUI and RWDD ∼4 years later.”

No question that we send a wildly confusing message about pot to children and teens with our state’s legalization. Most teens think legal = safe and that’s where we’re potentially setting up our teens for big mistakes. Getting high seems fun to teens and it may seem more fun with something that appears to be “safer….”

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When Did You Last Have 48 Hours Alone?

FullSizeRender (4)This past weekend I had 48 hours alone. I mean really, f-o-r-t-y-e-i-g-h-t hours with no commitments. No one expecting me home, zero rushing, zero obligations, and no racing home. I did things I haven’t done, well, ever. I went to a movie alone, woke up and read a magazine cover-to-cover, went for a couple runs, sat on a hill at the sculpture museum for just shy of 2 hours without my phone in my hand. I spent time just letting my mind wander. This wasn’t the kind of alone time I experience when I’m traveling for work. This was real, true alone time at home.

Although it’s rare that the stars align, and it’s a challenge to make sure our families and our children are being cared for and in good spots without us, I can’t endorse enough finding time to just be alone.

Because my boys and husband were off camping this past weekend I went out to dinner entirely by myself with absolutely no end time. I read a book. I slept 9 hours straight for 2 nights in a row. At one point I seriously did NOTHING for a couple of hours. I didn’t accomplish anything I could check off a to-do list. It was perfect.

Opting out may be essential for thriving, creativity, and refueling. This may be one skill we’re regularly forgetting to model and teach our children.

I mean earnestly, when is the last time you had a couple of days entirely alone? For me I realized it was way back in medical school….some 12 or 15 years ago.

Part of my unscheduled time during the 2 days my family was away was prompted by listening to this 15-minute podcast: The Case For Boredom

Maybe we really can prioritize white space for ourselves and our kids

What kind of time-alone parent are you? I mean I get it that things have to be in good balance in life for this to make sense, no one can be ill or hurting in a big way. But I wonder if we can do this more. Will you take the poll — are you better at this than me? If so, just HOW do you pull it off?

Head Lice, School, And OTC Treatment

Raise your hand if you never had head lice before going to college. Your hand isn’t in the air, is it? Turns out, lice is common. And no question, it’s wildly unsettling for us all. It’s a new world when it comes to prevention and treatment though — more choice, less stigma and less school disruption. Twentieth-century lice care is no more.

Back in 2010 the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) updated its recommendations on lice. Basically, schools are no longer encouraged to send children home with lice or keep them away from school. Lice spreads from child to child but it’s certainly nothing like measles. Sending children home from school for a “non-health issue” doesn’t make sense. Further, lice can be living on your child’s head for up to 30 days without hatching (horrifying I know) and can be around for weeks before causing itching the first time around so an urgent send-the-lice-infested-kid-home policy just doesn’t make a lot of sense. Thing is, this changes the game. We all want to get rid of lice on our child’s head immediately, but we’re dependent on all the other families in school doing the same so we don’t get it AGAIN…

In the midst of a lice “crisis,” don’t beat yourself up. This has nothing to do with hygiene. It has more to do with bad luck.

“Head lice are not a health hazard or a sign of poor hygiene and, in contrast to body lice, are not responsible for the spread of any disease.” American Academy of Pediatrics

KYOTC Lice 1New 2015 guidelines from the AAP offer some tips for getting your family lice-free as quickly as possible. Lots of over-the-counter (OTC) ways to deal with it. OTC treatments are safe and effective. However, lice are tricky and have been found to have resistance patterns that aren’t entirely understood at this point (the prevalence is unknown)– so rarely a parent needs to switch treatments. That means sometimes we do all the right things and even with the BEST routine and adherence and lice possibly remain. If you suspect you’re not getting rid of lice at home despite great treatment routines, involve your pediatrician. Often ongoing lice is simply that your child is getting re-infested at school or sports. Or they weren’t gone in the first place.

Follow instructions on the bottle — many treatments need to be repeated about 7-10 days after first application.

Sometimes it may be that you need to swap treatments. It’s RARE that you need a prescription treatment. Your child’s clinician can help recommend a transition to prescription medications. The prescription meds are expensive and often unnecessary but one does have the benefit of requiring only a one-time treatment and no combing.

If the thought of chemicals of any kind on your family’s skin is unappealing, manual removal by “wet-combing” or suffocation through hair is acceptable and can sometimes be effective (things like mayonnaise, butter, oils) yet there is no real hard data about effectiveness. It’s important to note that wet-combing should be repeated once a week for at least three weeks if you do this to ensure all lice and nits are removed as you must comb through entire scalp and hair fastidiously.

Discovering lice is clearly in the no-fun parenting category, but it’s also NO BIG DEAL. From experience (x 2) I can say best thing we can do is calm down, head to the drug store, comb away, wash the linens and move on.

What Parents Need To Know

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