You may have already read yesterday’s blog on preparing your daughter for college. Much of my advice for girls, of course, also pertains to boys (and vice versa). I’m writing two separate posts only for the purpose of getting people to read this content, not to differentiate. I added one section here for boys (on alcohol and risks) not because it’s an issue for boys only. In fact, we know that 1 out of every 5 high school girls binge drinks (see below).
If you have a boy heading off to college this fall there are a few things to know to help improve his safety and success this year. Of anything I know from my experience being a previous school teacher, and now pediatrician and mom to boys (still 10 years away from college!) the transition from HS to college-age is one steeped in emotion for all. In addition to the tips I’ve provided for girls, alcohol and the HPV vaccine are topics to discuss to ensure it’s a better and safer year for your son (or daughter) this year.
ONE: Safe Sex & Birth Control – What Your Teen Son May Need To Know:
If you have a daughter getting ready to head to college this fall, holy moly I’m excited for you. In clinic it’s clear to me that the huge transition from high school to college-age brings great joy but also a remarkable sense of unrest for everyone, too. Vaccines, birth control, and suicide prevention may not top your to-do list while packing the car but there’s no question these are 3 things you can check in on to ensure it’s a better and safer year for your daughter. Not only is a brand new meningitis vaccine available to college-age girls this fall, included here are reminders with ways to support your daughter and her health as she heads off to learn even more…
ONE: Birth Control Options For Your Teen Daughter
1. Amazing Resources To Prevent Unwanted Pregnancy
The CDC confirms that as girls head off to college we know over 40% of them have had sex. And although 4 in 5 of them used a form of birth control the last time they had sex, only about 5% are using the most effective forms to prevent pregnancy. Read full post »
My boys always want it to be screen time. I don’t think that is changing anytime soon. These apps, shows, games, and devices are only getting smarter at capturing their attention.
It feels like there isn’t a giant list of new advice to share regarding “screen time.” But because of the recent media focus and deluge of content on “screen addiction,” coupled with recommendations for dealing with screens while parenting this summer, I’m here with a few responses and observations. It seems to me, parents (all of us) are looking for a couple of things in the content we read about parenting with screens: permission and hacks for simplicity. This post will perhaps offer neither. Until the end.
Most of us acknowledge that not all screens are the same, nor is all programming, nor are the stages of life where apps and screens are enjoyed (infants versus an 8 year-old). “Screen time” is an issue layered with complexity. Parenting during this explosive device development era demands simple rules and dictums for limiting their use help, but the rules by themselves limit the development of full-on zealots. No one follows the rules like religion. Parents, grandparents and caregivers aren’t devout to recommendations because we claim the rules just don’t fit into the context of our lives. Most of us figure out a way to make justifiable exceptions. It’s simply too easy to pull out your phone, especially when it delights your child the way it does, and entertain. But no question that with the rules out there stressing non-use and limits, we’re left feeling a little guilty anytime we left our children indulge. Imagine knowing that screens before bed interfere with the “sleep hormone” melatonin (the light emitted from the screen limits secretion) but even so still choosing to let your children “chill out” with a video for a 1/2 hour before bed each night. Or imagine following the no-screen-time-before-age 2 religiously for your first child but then breaking this rule routinely when you have a second one! This just happens all the time. Read Why No TV Before Bed Is Better. Read full post »
This morning I got up early to work so I could carve out an hour for something special before I took the boys to camp for the day. You know the drill if you work outside your home: I powered through emails as the sun came up, responded to some other requests in the inboxes, packed bags for camp with lunches, reminded kids to wear shoes (!), applied sunscreen and we hauled out the door. By 8:00am we’d arrived at the park with donuts and I’d arranged for my mom to meet us in time. I really wanted my 8 year-old to have the opportunity to behold this kind of day from the top with music. A magical little program, Pianos In The Park, made it possible to spin a daydream into reality. There are pianos beautifully planted in parks around Seattle and I knew playing a duet with Grandma would be something special for me to see.
I don’t think my son has any idea that playing a duet with his grandmother, on a cloudless, shimmering new day, in front of Mount Rainer alongside Lake Washington is anything all that special. I really don’t think he knows it’s unusual, which ultimately is a privilege. And as we make experiences for our families we’ll never know what sticks. For me this one will. As his regular day unfolds today I’ve shelved the memory of this morning into longterm storage.
Thing is, we all work so hard to perfect how we execute parenthood. And we all beat ourselves up at times along the way. Often we may not feel good enough. In parenting, the blend of worry, thrill anxiety, guilt, joy, intrigue, and the pure unconditionality of this all generates something very high-stakes. We sometimes don’t even feel the seemingly herculean strikes (piano in the park before camp) are ever enough entrenched with all the demands stemming from work, from our heart and from our hopes. And while I loved the space carved out today for my family and the memory we spun, the minute I dropped them off at camp I started to feel a little behind. Just late to getting to the inboxes again and maybe 10 minutes frame-shifted to the left. Thing is, I mess up all the time with the boys just like every other parent in the universe. We all spend times fretting about competing demands and how we falter; we all worry. I heard an interview on NPR yesterday afternoon where a soon-to-be dad said he just doesn’t worry about anything anymore to which the host wisely responded something like, “Get back to me after you have your baby!” We do just want to raise steady children and the potency of our dreams is immense.
This ubiquitous worry is why an article I stumbled upon yesterday (read: my mom sent it to me) provided such profound relief: The Gift of The Good Enough Mother. When I shared it on Facebook last night it was crystal clear it resonated with nearly everyone else, too. In it, Dr. Naumburg writes, Read full post »
My goal here is to educate people about the risks and realities of e-cigarettes amid an environment full of popular misconceptions and half-truths. Talking about e-cigarette use in adults will NEVER be the same as talking about e-cigarette use and dangers for children and teens. Different groups, different realities, different risks, different use, and different vulnerabilities. Period.
Sadness, Fear, Anger, Disgust, and Joy … from Pixar’s “Inside Out”
Over the weekend we saw the movie, Inside Out, with our boys. After reading previews of the film, I expected to be moved and somewhat thrilled by the look at mental health and emotions. But I walked away with a somewhat unexpected emotion: motivation.
Motivation for presence and for patience with my little boys. To me, the movie felt like a whisper, a gentle reminder in my ears to the power of each and every early experience our children take in. A prompt into the profound opportunity good — or even challenging — moments have to shape the foundation of a little developing human. Yes, we know this instinctively, but sometimes it takes a cartoon to jolt us back into focus. I’m motivated to remember that we can’t always carry the heavy load that EVERYTHING we do with our children matters all the time but it is nice to know some of these experiences really will stick forever. Read full post »
Storing medicines safely seems like a “no-duh,” I know, but it often isn’t…little mistakes here can have big consequences. Safe medication storage is an especially important topic in the summer when children are in their homes during more of the day and sometimes curiously exploring the house. Routines are shaken up and fortunately there’s more travel in the summer (yippeee!) which consequently leads to medicine in purses and travel bags, grandparents coming to visit (with their own medication), or families traveling to other homes where medicines might not be stored safely. This is not meant to be finger-waggy….I’ve just seen too many “if only I’d thought of that” moments after unintended medicine ingestion.
Do 2 things today quickly perhaps — make sure meds are up and out of reach in your own home and car (in a locked cabinet if toddlers around) AND have a designated place for summer guests to store their meds. This won’t take too long.
Check out the Know Your OTC Safety Infographic (here on the left) for data support: children mainly discover household medications when misplaced or on the ground (27% of the time), in a purse (20%), on the nightstand (20%), or in the pillbox that’s in arm’s reach (15%). Who’s coming to your house this summer that may mess this up? Can you make a place to put those lovely purses and beach bags when people walk in that’s up and out of reach? A hook reserved for guests only?
What You Need to Know About Safely Storing Medicine:
On July 4th my 8 year-old little eagle walked up a tall ladder, waltzed across a platform full of teenage girls waiting to leap, and like a veteran champion approached the edge of the platform and jumped off. Arms in the air, feet forward and hardly a beat of hesitation, he took flight. What a gamer move. Next came twenty feet of free fall and a dock full of screaming enthusiasts. It all happened really fast and I think I may not have been the only one with two feet planted whose stomach dropped. Without question I had serious physiologic and neurologic shifts in my body as he leapt and fell, my stomach in my toes by the time he hit the water. What a wonder to see our children step up, look right at their fear, and then just push forward. Talk about leaning in…courage really is one of the most beautiful emotions to see in our children as they grow.
Raising children takes all sort of courage, of course. The odds at times feel stacked against us (overnight relentless wake-ups, temper tantrums, health challenges, worries about mental health, worries about physical health, resource restraints, failures, failures, failures). But nothing is typically stacked against most of us like other species. All parents face big challenges. Read full post »
We all know fireworks are dangerous, but outside the obvious hazards (burns, injuries, oh my!), there are other things to be aware of to stay safe this weekend. The 4th of July is a crazy-fun, chaotic day filled with friends and family. Lovely for the time and space to celebrate freedom and lovely for the holiday to celebrate each other. All easy ways to get distracted though, and take your eyes off your children who might be playing in circumstances not typical of your run-of-the mill Saturday. Enter fireworks (which the American Academy of Pediatrics urges families NOT to use) but also swimming, or driving, in ways changed by the holiday circumstances. Read full post »
Orange denotes states where same-sex marriage is legal.
While I was out of the country last week there was remarkable progress when it comes to public health and the opportunity for children. It was wild to be so far away seeing the news unfold. First it was The Supreme Court Of The United States (SCOTUS) voting to allow subsidies for the Affordable Care Act (facilitating the federal government to provide nationwide tax subsidies to support poor and middle-class people when they buy health insurance). Then just a day later SCOTUS voted 5-4 in majority to make gay marriage legal in all 50 states. With the highest court in the land stating clearly that from here forward, “marriage is a right” we realize it changes the game. These laws are about dignity and rights and care but this is squarely also about families. As a mom and pediatrician this feels MOMENTOUS. Read full post »
Seattle Children’s provides healthcare for the special needs of children regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, religion, sex (gender), sexual orientation or disability. Financial assistance for medically necessary services is based on family income and hospital resources and is provided to children under age 21 whose primary residence is in Washington, Alaska, Montana or Idaho.