Parenting

All Articles in the Category ‘Parenting’

Dear Sleep, Come Home.

You’ll be pleased to know in response to the poor quality of sleep in our house, for 4 consecutive nights, due to colds and random screaming I’ve just sent a memo to the boys. It reads:

Beloved Boys,

Sleep starts at 8pm and no later.

We rise around 7am in our home, just after Mommy and Daddy are ready for the day.

Thank you for adjusting your schedules accordingly.

I love you,

Mama

I’m waiting for them to respond. A re-tweet or Facebook status update would suffice.

She-Woman Wednesday

She RaOur nanny called in sick yesterday. I felt like a She-Woman (think gender equal of He-man circa 1988) after making it through the day. Maybe it’s more, She-Ra. Between the hours of 7:50am when I got the call and 5:50pm when I sat down to dinner with my little boys I : Read full post »

Tape Measuring Time

I had a great weekend. Nothing truly spectacular happened. I, for the most part, tucked the blog away in my top drawer. I wasn’t on call and didn’t connect into my clinic computer. I tried to be really present with all 3 boys in my house.

I played with my kids. We did the typical things that dress up weekends for normal people: errands, a grocery store trip, naps, dinner, test drove a car, met friends and their kids for lunch, met friends and their kids for dinner, went to IKEA, had dinner with grandma, took out the recycling, rearranged the living room.

Usually, that little “trip to IKEA” sandwiched in there would be a back/mood/weekend breaker. This time, no.

In the midst of this wholly normal yet stupendous weekend, I had mentioned to a friend how F was having a hard time with the concept of single digits forming greater numbers, especially in the teens. That is, he can count pretty easily from one to fifty, but when I point to the clock and ask what time it is, he says “seven, one, three.” Read full post »

Wait lists: Be Careful What You Wait For?

Luna waitingWelcome to wait list country. That sounds like some bad pick-up truck ad. But it’s true; Seattle is known for mountains, water, coffee, grunge, rain, evergreens, and the Space Needle. And then as it turns out, wait lists. I know what it feels like being stuck on a list. Hip deep stuck. Somewhere between the Andersons and the Steins just above the Grahams on page 6. Buried with no chance for arrival or survival.

The wait list: are you on one of these lists?  Is your equivalent w-e-n-d-y-s-u-e-s-w-a-n-s-o-n spelled out and nestled nicely on some school, pool, or horseback-riding list? I think about these lists a lot more now that I have two kids. I generally let all people involved (the kids, the husband, the babysitter/nanny, the MIL, my own mother) down due to my inability to follow through and get on the list, let alone get off the list. Any list. I know you turbo moms and dads out there are really good at this. For me, it’s usually well after the list is formed, a true tardy, and only with 3 people telling me about an activity, that I get on the list. Precisely why I’m at the bottom, I suppose. Read full post »

Complex Problem: Raising A Child

I had the fortune of seeing Dr Atul Gawande speak last week in Seattle. Truth be told, I entirely invited myself. I heard there was a group from the hospital going and I begged my way in. I sat in the corner.  Flashbacks to finding a seat in the junior high cafeteria. I made it through and forgot all about the awkward act of my self-inviting and seat-finding by the end. Despite my disrespect for Ms Manners and my loud mouth, my pushy ways afforded me the opportunity to witness a leader in medicine.

I enjoyed what Dr Gawande said about his work in using checklists to ultimately decrease complications and death in the surgical setting. I have read Dr Gawande’s books (or parts of them, I admit) and many of his articles in the New Yorker (whole thing, thank you). I marvel at his skill and ease of writing, his ability to translate complicated problems and make you feel like you thought of them yourself due to their apparent simplicity. His assertions, however, are not simple. It’s just that his skill in expressing his position, explaining the breakdowns in the system and offering opinion wed with solution puts us all at ease. His article, The Cost Conundrum, remains one of my favorite articles of all time. I have read it numerous times and think about it when caring for children on a weekly basis. He has affirmed the way I feel about over-testing in medicine. As I have said previously, in pediatrics so often less is more. Read full post »

The Whine: Up To My Nose In Noise

Meet Luna, our dog. She looks overwhelmed this morning, doesn’t she? I think she is thinking about our short night of sleep sandwiched between a fine nighttime whine and an early morning whine. The whining in our house is overtaking me. Imagine me in a pile of virtual sound, covered up to my nose in noise. Underneath layers of scratchy screech and howl, whine and cry, loudness and complaining, my hands reaching for the sky. It’s loud here. Wanna come over and play?

I’m wondering when our dog will enter into the chorus and begin to howl. She’s a remarkably patient and mild mannered 7 year-old lab but you’d think this would inspire a little bark or something. Her calm alarms. She remains quiet and patient despite the racket, waiting on the sideline for the respite of nap time silence. Silence can feel very present and nearly tactile right now. The presence of something as opposed to the absence. Read full post »

Verbatim: The Wife

One little thing that really gets under my skin if you must know is the title, “The Wife.” When I hear it, it rings through me, moving and shifting my electrons in just the wrong way.

I’m sure most of you wives or mothers out there on planet earth don’t really mind it. But I do.

Here is how I often hear it. Let me set the scene:
Exam room, child center stage, father stage left.  Meaning no harm (or disrespect) the dad says, “Oh, and the wife wanted me to ask you about this rash.”

I remain calm, usually leaking no erratic response, remark, or expression. This is my issue, I’m sure. But the internal alarm goes off.  Just something about that woman being distilled to “the wife.”

“My wife wanted me to ask you about this rash.”               No alarm.
“His mother wanted me to ask you about this rash.”          No alarm.

But,“The wife wanted me to ask you about this rash.”     Alarm-tastic.

With permission, I’m going to refer to my partner and husband, father of my children, as The Husband. Just to even the field. For today and maybe tomorrow, too. He’s ok with it; I’ve cleared this.
Thank you, husband, The Husband.

Hopes, Dreams, And Predictions

Twenty Ten, Two Thousand Ten. However you say it, we have arrived. Welcome back to school days. The rigor of productivity. We had the tantrum of the century this AM at our house which we’ve decided to include in our new in-home, Swanson special list of “mega-tantrums.” In medicine, mega is inserted into terminology as if to clarify like in, “mega meatus.” Translation: a big meatus. Re-entry to real life is mega-tough stuff. In the hope that we can continue to live out our previous week’s break from the route schedule that is upon us, I’ll hit rewind and go back 3 days. Read full post »

The Juggle: Working And Breastfeeding

ShadowA study in Pediatrics highlighting the importance of breastfeeding and the challenges for working moms was published earlier in 2009. Today, it circulated through a business journal and got some more attention.

I read the study today for the first time. Then I re-read it a number of times. I talk about breastfeeding with moms and parents in clinic on a daily basis. I certainly know the challenges of trying to breastfeed through a transition back to work. I also know how hard it is not to be able to do what you set out to do.

I had my go. With my first son, I saw about 9 lactation consultants in the first week. I am not exaggerating. Me with those women hovering over me trying to help while my little man screamed his head off. The beginnings of motherhood. I breast fed, finger fed, pumped breast milk, finger fed, breast fed, then pumped my way into a sleepless oblivion. Read full post »

Magic

magicSometimes good health feels like magic.  Lately more than ever.  I’ve had a number of friends and family diagnosed with serious medical problems and medical set-backs in the last few weeks.  Like patients that I have been fortunate enough to care for with serious illness, it scares me, makes me sad, sometimes wakes me up at night. These episodes in illness are disorienting to the order of things. These diagnoses, uncertainties and realities are especially weighty this month amidst bags of gifts, holiday music, lit trees, and piped-in joy. Fear amidst cheer. Ultimately, these diagnoses and fears feel really real and make the rest of life blur. I suppose I just feel more angular, vulnerable and then compassionate right now. Ever-aware of the good health that surrounds me, too. Perspective defined. Read full post »