Mama Doc Philosophies

There are moments that take our breath away. I’ve said before that it tends to be the things we don’t think of that takes our breath away while parenting. Warning: this post will sound as if it’s written by somebody’s mom.

With the two boys I have so many of those moments, the ones so luscious that when they happen I can hardly breathe and certainly don’t see straight. When these wondrous, unexpected child utterances occur, it can feel a little like the earth stops rotating for a just a beat.

Two things recently to report. One happened this morning around 8am. I’ve written about preschool drop-offs previously. After getting over the tantrums and the wretched separation anxiety the drop-offs have really blossomed. It’s now a luxury to get to drop our 5 year-old off at school. O is really excited to be there and saying goodbye while watching him trot off and fold into his circle of friends is settling to me. Today though, he dropped a delicious bomb. We got to his cubby and he sorted through a few things. Then reached up and handed me a little piece of paper just as he was running off.

Mommy, a rocket for your pocket.

He’s a funny little guy and I’ve held onto that piece of paper (ahem, rocket) all day.

And then a moment on being a grown-up. We do this all the time, act our age… Recently we were talking with our 7 year-old about visiting grandparents and travel, the future and where he will live. One set of his grandparents lives in California and so as he was chatting about travel my husband asked,

Where do you think you’re going to live when you grow up, California or Washington?

To which our wise, old-souled 7 year-old replied,

Oh Daddy, there’s a whole planet to explore.

We really can be shortsighted while parenting these brilliant, funny, lovely people who walk around masquerading as the children in the room. We can think dreams to be contained and we can make the bad assumption that school drop-off is routine. All the while our children remind us the world is without margin and a whole lot sweeter and so much funnier than we ever imagined it could be.

As a pediatrician, I encourage families to search online for health advice. Yet how you search and where you click matters. Tips for you and your time with “Dr Google” or “Surgeon Bing.”

The Pew Internet Project’s research finds that over 70% of Internet users in the United States say they have looked online for health information in the last year. Furthermore, most health information seekers (ie freaked out parents searching in the middle of the night) don’t start their health search on their pediatrician’s website. More than ¾ of people in the United States start their health search by typing something into a search engine like Google or Bing. Where you click and what you do next is key.

As a mom, pediatrician, blogger and general online enthusiast, here are a few insights to assist you when looking online for health information for your child or family. We parents are active information seekers on our phones and computer ~ I maintain that this is a GREAT thing! For practicing physicians, there is a tricky balance in believing that the Internet can help save lives. Have You Been In To See Doctor Google? A few ideas to improve trust for us all.

7 Tips For Becoming A Savvy Digital Parent:

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Official launch of my book is…… today! Mama Doc Medicine: Finding Calm and Confidence in Child Health, Parenting, and Work-Life Balance. I’m seeing patients in clinic today but certainly am planning on walking over to the bookstore during my lunch break at clinic to see if it’s there. That will be a first…

More than anything, I wrote Mama Doc Medicine to connect parents and families with science and story (see video below). Although in some regards this book was designed to be the perfect baby shower gift, it has information on parenting children at any age, work-life-balance, and tips for raising your children with great social emotional skills.  There is information about sunscreen on babies, fostering generosity, fighting cavities, Tina Fey, risks for SIDS, Measles in America, taking digital breaks from your cell phone, and chicken pox.

In addition to about 100 magazine length sections (perfect for reading while nursing or sitting in the bleachers waiting for practice to finish), there are tweets, infographics, bar graphs (bouncy house injuries!) and boxes with custom links to research, awesome parenting videos, and online resources I go to.

If you’re wondering just when and why the soft spot closes or exactly how much crying is normal for a one month-old, or are looking for simple ways to increase your family’s health (hint: go outside) this is for you. The book is available in bookstores everywhere today and of course, online. Kindle version is also available!

Book Reading And Appearances

The book has offered up a flurry of opportunity to talk about health and prevention, vaccine science, and my journey as a digital and public physician. In addition to a number of Seattle and Chicago appearances,  I’ll be on The Today Show on March 13th and interviewing with Katie Couric (and taking audience questions) on Katie in April. Would love to know you’re watching while I’m there…

I’ll be presenting and doing a book signing this weekend in Chicago at the American Academy of Pediatric Expo — the first ever Healthy Children educational event designed for parents and children. Only $8 to attend (kids are free). I’m doing a talk with 10 things families should know and a book signing at 12pm (first 300 books are free and we can connect in real life!).

Next couple book readings are near Seattle: University Book Store (March 20) and Third Place Books (April 9th) and Village Books (April 26th) Read full post »

Today my heart is stuck in my typical quarterly crisis about how I’m spending time on earth. Each goodbye with the boys leaves me a bit emptied. I planned to write about kids’ check-ups and health insurance today, which I will do– but tomorrow, because my heart is here:

Whenever the boys leave (for school, off for the day with Grandma, etc) I still always feel I’m without one of my limbs…
— WendySueSwanson MD (@SeattleMamaDoc) February 22, 201
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It’s becoming more obvious to me that the current work-life-balance crisis I’m swirled up in (or smashed into) was triggered by the recent deaths of 2 people I loved, a delicious movie about connection and time, the juxtaposition in watching Jimmy Fallen express love for his Winnie just a minute before Will Smith mentioned everyone’s art could be used to enhance lives, and a voice in me that’s getting louder and louder. I’m hearing the echoes of this voice in almost everything I do right now. Yes I desperately want to work to improve children’s health. Yes I desperately want to witness my life. The gist of the echoes are urging me to consider how I carve out time for mindfulness and unhurried time with the boys. Over the last 24 hours I also read two articles, “Recline! How ‘Leaning In’ is Killing Us” and “Clinging to Each Other, We Survived the Storm” and I knew I could sit quietly no longer. (pssst, read those articles) Read full post »

I had to bring my valentine supplies to work today. Have yet to construct them or profess my love on these big red hearts but I will before heading home. I’m not buying the boys any flowers or candy (their school friends did, thank goodness) but I do revel in the opportunity to put words on a heart each year on February 14th.

Yesterday I had meetings all day. The best part of my work day came at the end during a delightful interview (with ParentMap) when I was asked, “What time do you love or treasure most with your boys?” My response was totally off the cuff. But I’ll say, even just getting an opportunity to respond to the question was a huge delight. I’ve been reading and reflecting on how we share our journey of parenthood because of a Slate article I read earlier this week entitled, “My Life Is A Waking Nightmare.” The author protests the amount of negativity we share about parenthood.

As I reflected on the interview last night I realized it was the foundation for my three valentines. Everything in my heart is different after having children, of course. My romantic love for my husband remains and is nurtured with time but these little boys take up huge real estate now. For the rest of time I’ll always send at least 3 valentines. Just the way it is now after having my boys.

If you’re curious, here’s what I said (I’m paraphrasing). Don’t worry I’ll condense this for the cards!

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Doctors are tough critics — as well they should be. Today the news that CVS Caremark pharmacies will no longer sell tobacco brought about quite a bit of rapid online dialogue. Even President Obama chimed-in with praise, a response that some in the business world say is worth billions for CVS. Having a good reputation, particularly when you’re in the business of delivering health care and lending health advice, seems essential. In my mind we should praise and celebrate what today brings – leadership for making it harder to get addicted to tobacco products we know seriously harm health.

But not all doctors may think a move to ban the sale of tobacco in a health care environment is enough. Dr Sunny Chan, a family doctor in Canada, asked the tough question about our health care providers (HCP) working environment:

@SeattleMamaDoc @kevinmd @matthewherper Seriously why are pharmacies, where HCPs work, selling tobacco in the first place? Makes no sense

— Sunny Chan (@waisunchan) February 5, 2014

Meanwhile, Texas pediatrician Dr Bryan Vartabedian wrote a blog post this morning asking CVS to take a bigger step  by banning sales of unhealthy sugar-sweetened beverages (that we know are associated with obesity) and junk food. He wrote,

You can’t make money peddling savory snacks while at once setting the pace for a healthy lifestyle.  And condemning one vice works for the press release, but not as a brand offering health solutions.

When focusing singularly on CVS’ decision to stop selling tobacco products, it’s easy to say the choice is a phenomenal one. Not promoting (or profiting) from the sale of carcinogens is always in the best interest of our communities and our long-term health. I return to what Centers For Disease Control’s Director, Dr Thomas Friedman, recently wrote in JAMA , “Tobacco is, quite simply, in a league of its own in terms of the sheer numbers and varieties of ways it kills and maims people.” Read full post »

Wikimedia Creative Commons

Last weekend while heading home from a weekend medical conference in Canada we exited off the interstate to drive through the Skagit Valley on the country roads. The skies were clear and the valley stunning. The land is so spacious in the valley, stuck between the mountains and the sea, it inspires a feeling of brimmed, fertile opportunity. The moment we exited the highway the drive home immediately felt more of an adventure.

Unsurprising to any parent who drives with children in the car, as I ate up the scenery the boys got hungry. We pulled off the road to grab a late, impromptu lunch. For once we weren’t in a hurry so spontaneity governed as we honed in on a spot where we could sit down and eat while looking over the Puget Sound. The plan was nearly thwarted–as we opened the door to the tiny restaurant just off Chuckanut Drive I immediately saw a sign declaring they didn’t serve children under age 9. Instead of being outraged by the ageism, I asked if we could have lunch. The boys were tucked under my arm. They’re 5 and 7 and clearly look nothing like a near 10 year-old. The restaurant was nearly empty as it was close to 2pm. The waitress smiled.

Turns out we looked like better business than no business and we were seated in the back corner. Read full post »

Wait, did he just say what I think he did? (minute mark 1:18)

I want you to put it in his helmet…I don’t care if you don’t get up. Let’s go!

Or is it:

I want you to put it in his helmet…I don’t care if he don’t get up. Let’s go!

Either is grim. The new show, Esquire’s Friday Night Tykes, is getting quite a bit of attention. I suppose this was exactly the network’s intent but there are very few cells in my body that can stay quiet about this. Reality TV has submerged to profound depths.

Seahawks In Seattle!

We’re pulsing blue and green around here. There are 12s affixed to most every man-made structure in this town and our sense of Seattle-cohesion is undeniably improved. It’s exciting to dream of a Super Bowl win for our Seahawks. We’re ready for the 49ers this weekend (we even have our own Macklemore & Ryan Lewis playing at halftime) and most everyone in the Puget Sound is aware that football is providing a reason for giddiness. Like or hate the NFL, it’s my experience that we’re excited about our team…

First thing first: I know this is a pipe dream but I really wish a Seahawks player or coach would take the lead and discuss the disgust we should all have with Esquire and the crew involved in Friday Night Tykes promoting the abusive coaching. It’s an understatement to say that I’m outraged some think it is not only permissible for children to participate in this program but that we are willing to elevate the scenario and call it entertainment. Perhaps the NFL won’t permit this kind of public advocacy. Any ideas? Read full post »

Yesterday marked the 50th anniversary of Lyndon B Johnson’s 1964 State of the Union address where he made a proclamation to commit to end poverty in our rich nation. Nationally, there has been a huge and beautiful focus on the anniversary. Despite the political divisions and tense partisan discussions on how to proceed in poverty reduction, I heard many reports on the radio, read newspaper coverage, and saw chatter all day on social channels about where we stand. I was floored by the statistics. I’d not, unfortunately, ever before spent time thinking about Johnson’s proclamation and the line in the sand created by his words.

After his proclamation, the country went to work creating Medicare, Medicaid, Head Start (promoting school readiness through social, nutritional, developmental support for children from birth to age 5), food stamp programs, and Job Corps. Since 1965, Head Start alone has served more than 30 million children and set precedent for contemporary thinking on early education and consortiums today like Thrive by Five. Much of the media coverage yesterday focused on the profound progress we’ve made helping Americans quit or reduce cigarette smoking with the Surgeon General’s first Report on Smoking and Health. Still, nearly 1 in 5 Americans (18%) smoke in a country that has proven cigarettes to be the #1 leading cause of preventable death. Dr Thomas Frieden wrote in JAMA yesterday, “Tobacco is, quite simply, in a league of its own in terms of the sheer numbers and varieties of ways it kills and maims people.” Read full post »

Gratitude — appreciating the positive aspects of life — may not be an innate, spontaneous daily emotion to you or your children.  Rather, appreciating what we have is a skill we cultivate, practice, and maintain. There is research that shows gratitude is far more than just a touchy-feely pop-psych term. In fact, people who practice gratitude have less anxiety and depression, better sleep, decreased levels of stress, better outlooks on life and kinder behavior.  Sign me up!

Gratitude is the emotion of friendship   ~  Dr Michael McCollough told the New York Times in 2011

5 Tips For Inspiring Gratitude In Your Family

• Make lists: Researchers describe making lists as the “classic” intervention to practice gratefulness. Making a list can be as simple as a weekly journal entry where you list that for which you’re thankful. It can be more intensive and involve daily writing and reviewing of lists, too. Regardless, the research shows that keeping these lists is easier than other interventions for improving mood, more likely to turn into a habit, and one that can improve your outlook, mood, and health. I’ve taken to jotting down things I’m thankful for on post-its and sticking them onto the bottom of my computer screen.
• Plan a visit: Dr Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology, studies interventions that improve happiness. He suggests planning a gratitude visit. Here’s how: Read full post »