We had one of each in our house: one baby that we let cry for periods of time to self-soothe and one where I simply couldn’t bear to hear the crying in quite the same way. You’d think it would have been just the same for both of our boys, but it wasn’t. Clearly I wasn’t the same parent each time around.
There are many things that go into the equation of how we get our babies to sleep thought the night. And those of us who struggled after our babies after 6 months of age are in good company. Research shows that about 45% of mothers say they struggle with their 6-12 month-old’s sleep.
Solving the sleep solution requires a diverse mix of instinct, patience with personal and baby temperament, timing, mood, advice we get, and good luck.
The reality is that there isn’t one perfect way to help support an infant who’s learning to sleep through the night. But there are few pearls I believe in: Read full post »
We know children are sleeping less now than they did 30 years ago. Research studies are piling up that assimilate the ill effects of our lack of shut-eye. When children don’t get the sleep they need they suffer. And not only in the ways we may expect. Sure, they are grumpy and irritable but research also shows children who create a sleep debt also have a more difficult time completing school work, they don’t score as well on tests, they may be more distractible while having difficulty maintaining attention, and they may be at higher risk for having an unhealthy weight. Further, tired teens who are on the road driving in the early morning are at more risk for motor vehicle accidents. Data shows that more than 1/2 of all early morning accidents attributed to drowsiness occurred in drivers between 16 and 25 years of age.
Teens are potentially at the greatest risk for drowsiness because they tend to naturally fall asleep later and school start times get shifted earlier and earlier. Here in the Seattle area, many schools start at 7:30 am (school bell times). And multiple students in clinic this past week have shared with me that they are attending extra classes during “zero period” that begins at 6:30am! That means, many teens are responding to a 5:00am alarm clock. If these teens aren’t to bed until near-midnight, come October they are going be exhausted.
Typical Sleep Needs For Children And Teens
Preschoolers:10-12 hours of total sleep (night time sleep + naps). Most children naturally get tired and ready for bed between 7pm and 9pm at night. Most 4 year-old phase out their nap prior to turning 5.
School-age children:10-11 hours total sleep. Most children get to bed around 8pmbut as they near age 12, they may naturally “phase shift” later into the night. That means as they age and go through puberty, many tweens aren’t really tired until around 9pm or 10pm. Puberty brings on changes to their sleep cycle and thus shifts them later.
12 year-old to teens: 8 1/2-9 1/2 hours total sleep. Most teens aren’t tired until 9pm or later. To get the amount of sleep they need, you really have to help them prioritize bedtime. Between the lure of Facebook, the average of >100 text messages sent daily (!), and the academic demands of school, coupled with extra-curricular activities, it can be tough. Learning to value sleep is life skill. If you’re having trouble getting these hours in, you’ll see your teen catch up on sleep during the weekend. This is sleep debt. They can fill the bank and replenish the sleep debt by sleeping in on weekends, but it’s imperfect. Allow them to sleep in, but help them also keep the same bedtime Friday and Saturday as best they can.
6 Tips To Help Your Child Prioritize Sleep For School
Work to design and agree upon (as a family) a reasonable bed time for your child or teen. Eight o’clock for school age children and 9:30pm-10pm for teens may be most reasonable. Read full post »
Every week in clinic families ask me about strategies to help with children who awake before the sun is up. We all thrive with improved, uninterupted, prolonged periods of sleep at night. Particularly on those Saturdays where an extra hour or two of sleep can be life-sustaining for exhausted parents to toddlers and preschoolers. Because of our boys’ early schedules, late last year Santa conveniently dropped off an incredible tool: a toddler teaching clock. The clock has helped our 3 year old know when 7 o’clock rolls around. And we’ve made a deal with boys for 2012: no leaving their bedroom until 7 appears on the screen. And so far, it’s working–we’re batting about .900. Learning to play quietly on their own in the early morning has been a great benefit, too.
Toddlers and preschoolers between 1 and 3 years of age need about 11 to 13 hours of total sleep within 24 hours (night time and nap combined). Sometimes no matter what time bedtime starts, early morning awakenings continue to happen. As many parents learn, moving bedtime later doesn’t always shift the time a child awakens in the morning. But with time, shifts in schedules sometimes improve that Saturday morning sleep…
Dr. Craig Canapari, a pediatric pulmonologist and sleep expert in Boston helps explain some reasons for these uber-early wake-ups and what we can do about it:
Why does my toddler get up so early in the morning?
There is a lot of writing online about how to get your baby to sleep through the night during infancy but not as much expertise to help those of us with toddlers and preschoolers who wake a number of times. Between age 2 and 3 when O was released from crib jail and moved to a big bed, he’d come to find me a couple of times a night. I’d often awake (and startle) to find him standing next to my bed! I tried many things to improve his opportunity for a full night’s sleep yet for those kids who never quite figure out that sleeping through the night starts around 7 or 8pm and ends with the sun coming up around 7am, we want to help. Recent data shows that 1 in 5 infants who have trouble sleeping may continue to have challenges during the toddler years. Clearly challenges with sleep that span multiple years affect many of us.
I turned to a pediatric sleep expert for help. Dr. Craig Canapari is a doctor I met on Twitter (of all places) who answered questions surrounding sleep challenges for toddlers. Dr Canapari is a father to 2, a pediatric pulmonologist & sleep expert, and is thinking of starting a blog! He told me that when he was a kid he, “definitely did have problems falling asleep sometimes,” so not only is he an expert, he’s experienced! Check out his responses here and leave comments and questions — I’ll get him back on the blog to respond as needed.
Why does my toddler wake up at night?
Every parents has experienced the dreaded 2 AM call. You hear your little one stirring on the monitor. Either you wait, fingers crossed, to see if they go back to sleep and they don’t, or you run in there as fast as you can to stuff the pacifier in their mouth before they really wake up. Most babies are capable of sustained sleep (6-8 hours in a row) at night by age six months. If you are nursing your child, it may take them a bit longer to achieve this. I think that it is reasonable that every child should sleep through the night most nights by 9-12 months of age. Now, every child wakes up sometimes at night. I view the awakenings as a problem if they are more than a few minutes in duration, occurring multiple times at night, or resulting in significant daytime irritability for either the child or the parents.
If your child is having problematic nocturnal awakenings, there are a few possible causes: Read full post »
Getting your baby to sleep through the night is a major milestone for baby and for you. If I had to distill down the best sleep advice I’ve ever heard it would be these 4 things:
Your consistency with the sleep routine is far more important than what method you choose to help get your baby to sleep. The ritual at bedtime (reading, bath, rocking, etc) is one of the most important daily activities you establish for your child from day 1 (or day 30).
Letting your baby learn to fall asleep all on her own at 1 to 2 months of age will serve you and your child again and again. Research shows that infants and children who are allowed to learn to self-soothe and get themselves to sleep will often be far better sleepers, even as adults. Consider letting your baby learn to self-soothe and “cry it out” in the middle of the night after 4 to 6 months of age.
If you’re concerned about your baby’s sleep challenges, talk directly with their doc. Recent research found that 1 in 10 children under age 3 has a sleep challenge, and often sleep trouble persists from infancy to toddlerhood.
Sleep needs to be a priority (for us all). Making sacrifices to support routine bedtimes and sleep routines will always be worth it.
I wonder, can we prioritize sleep? I mean this sincerely. Can we really value it? Sleep is one of the essential parts of being human yet unlike some of the other essential things (think food, exercise, oxygen, or shelter) no one seems to give us credit when we sleep. Come about age 11, kids start to be praised for their achievements more than their skills in self-preservation.
Like most busy moms, I speak from an experienced place–I’m up early today after going to bed late last night. With the dog awakening us with vomiting at 2:30am, I clocked in under 6 hours of sleep when the alarm clock broke the silence this morning. Clearly it is our own responsibility to find ways to prioritize sleep. No one will do it for us. So, how we both model sleep and also advise our children as they grow matters. It is well understood that sleep deprivation isn’t good for us. It’s not good for our performance, our driving, our friendships, our mood, or even our waistlines.
In clinic, I ask teenagers what time they go to bed. I ask them if they sleep with their phones, if they wake up to an alarm, and how easy it is to fall asleep. I ask parents and I ask about the little ones, too. But it’s the teens (and parents) I worry about most. Those little 6-month-old-midnight-screamers, they’ll figure it out. The over-subscribed-stressed-out high-(or-low)-achieving teens? They need a little time on this…A study published this month only confirms my concern. Read full post »
This morning as I was getting ready for the day, my 2 1/2 year old was watching Sesame Street. In the show, the segments change every few minutes or so and seem to weave old-school 1970’s content (familiar to me) with newly created vignettes that have a modern feel and construction. I like it nearly as much as the boys. One of the stories this morning was about tooth fairies. An animated group of fairies were detailing how they got to the tooth under a child’s pillow (lifting up the child) to replace it with a golden coin. Mind you, I was coming and going from the room and didn’t view the whole story. However at one point, the fairies accidentally turn on the child’s TV and worry it might wake the child, ultimately uncovering their work and secret magic.
Loved a study published today in Pediatrics. Researchers sought to determine if mothers who breastfed slept less than those who formula fed their babies. I hear lots of talk (at birthday parties to office visits) about how formula or rice cereal creates better infant sleepers. So far, science doesn’t back up these claims. But as every new mom (and dad) knows, sleep is the major commodity during your infant’s first 6-12 months. We really want our babies to sleep through the night. Desperately. Six weeks in, crying is at a peak for infants and mothers are utterly exhausted after a pregnancy, a labor/delivery, and a month or so of very fragmented and dwindling sleep. Not only are we at peace when our babies sleep, we often rest, too. Maternal rest is essential for familial functioning, enjoyment of a baby’s infancy, and simple recovery. Sleep is not just about feeling rested or perceiving that you get more (or less) sleep than the other baby’s mothers on the block. It is about wellness, too. The study asserts that, “a growing body of evidence shows that mothers may not, in fact, do fine with less sleep.” Maternal sleep may affect rates of postpartum depression and an infant’s emotional and cognitive outcome. Getting rest is something we actually CRAVE in the first few months of our baby’s lives. Sleep, at some point, has to be a priority.
Researchers in West Virginia wanted to figure out if mothers of formula fed babies got a better night of sleep compared to those who breast fed or partially breast fed. The motivation behind the study was to dispel any perceived disadvantage of breastfeeding. Before you get up in arms about how bad your night sleep was while breast feeding compared to baby Jane next door who was chugging formula, look at what they did. Sometimes understanding how a study was performed helps you interpret how much weight you put into the results. Read full post »
There is a lot of information (and opinion) about how to get your infant to sleep through the night. Cry it out/don’t cry it out, rocking/no rocking, co-sleeping/crib sleeping, white noise/no noise, breastfeeding or bottle-feeding. Everyone has an idea about what works. Like I said earlier, there is very little data to support one technique over another.
Auspiciously, there is new data that may help us know what NOT to do. Researchers found 3 things to avoid while helping your baby learn to sleep through the night.
As promised, this is my first video post. It’s 11:30pm Sunday night. It took a while to coordinate. This was take number 2. I waited for the sun (going against my previous post about when NOT to work) as that cloudy Friday light was too drab. Especially for sleep deprived parents. This afternoon it was sunny; proof that Seattle-ites really do see the sun.
This is a post about sleep. How to help your baby (and you) get more of it. What to do when you don’t know what sleep routine or method to follow. Which books to listen to and which to pass on to your friends.
There is no universal truth or method that is good for all parents. Rather, each sleep book or method caters to certain parenting styles and certain baby temperaments. The method you choose is less important than how you implement it. Consistency is essential in helping your baby sleep through the night. Pick a plan and follow through.
Read this summary of expert advice on interpreting sleep methods and talk with your pediatrician if you get confused. Or tired. Or both. And watch this video (click on full post to see it).
Seattle Children’s provides healthcare for the special needs of children regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, religion, sex (gender), sexual orientation or disability. Financial assistance for medically necessary services is based on family income and hospital resources and is provided to children under age 21 whose primary residence is in Washington, Alaska, Montana or Idaho.