I like Halloween far more as an adult than I ever did as a child. At least that is how it feels now. Witnessing the excitement this year around casa Swanson has been a hoot. Not all easy though. Like I have mentioned before, holidays come with all sorts of novel stresses that our children experience differently. Then mix in a whole bunch of costumes and candy and…imagine.
On Friday, our little O had a mega-tantrum at the preschool parade. So loud, so ornery, so insistent that he never donned the costume and never got near walking in the parade. The tantrum ended only after arriving at home. I was feeling entirely terrible already as I was out of town and unable to make it to the parade, but when the husband called me at the airport and told me it was better that I wasn’t there after all, I felt even worse. The Mama-ache reached new heights. Although I mentioned that day one of preschool was a heroic moment, days 2 through 25 have been (typically) different.
Tantrums are wicked-scary-terribleness sometimes. The public grimaces, and then points and whispers and stares and judges. Our children’s friends and peers run the other way. And we parents look like out-of-control-bats. Tantrums can be very Halloween, actually. A post on the New York Times Motherlode blog yesterday couldn’t have come at a better time. Read full post »
We don’t need cows to survive but their milk sure does provide us with a convenient source of calcium. The amount of milk our children need varies with age. I outline needs in the video but know this, as your child ages from a preschooler to a school-age child to a teenager, their calcium needs increase. Of course, if your child doesn’t like milk or is allergic to milk products, you have plenty of ways to get them the calcium they need from other foods rich in calcium to fortified juices to calcium supplements and calcium-fortified bars.
Getting The Calcium Our Children Need:
Lowfat milk is an easy and affordable source of calcium, but it certainly isn’t the only one. Other calcium rich foods include soybeans (edamame), tofu, broccoli, spinach, and almonds. Click on that link for a comparison of how much calcium each food contains compared to a cup of lowfat milk.
Calcium needs increase by age. Here’s a chart that breaks it down by the milligrams of calcium kids need each day. If you’re not into counting milligrams of calcium, think of calcium needs by the glasses of milk need daily: about 2 cups for 2 to 3 year olds, 2 1/2 cups for 4 to 8 year olds, and 3 cups for rapid-growing 9 to 18 year olds.
You don’t need whole milk for proper nutrition after age 2. “Whole” only refers to the amount of dairy fats, not the amount of vitamins or protein. US Studies find that almost 1/3 of families still serve their older children whole milk. I recommend switching to lowfat milk once your child turns 2.
Fewer than 1 in 10 girls gets the calcium they need between the age of 9 and 13 years. Fewer than 1 in 4 boys in the same age gets what they need. I’m perplexed by the sex difference, but suspect it has to do with calorie restriction (read: dieting), cultural norms, and the vast array of alternative beverages marketed to teens. When I searched for an explanation, I found data on fur seals. If you know the answer, please leave a comment!
If you are concerned your child is lactose-intolerant (very rare prior to age 5 years) consider getting milk products that are lactose-free or getting pills from the doctor that help children digest the lactose (milk sugar).
If your child isn’t a milk-hound, consider finding ways to keep calcium-rich snacks within reach. For easy snacks consider a handful of almonds or a piece of low-fat string cheese. Leave them out and in arm’s reach after school.
And remember, the only two things your toddler to teen needs to drink on planet earth are milk & water. Everything else is an extra.
Tdap is a shot necessary for all adults and children starting at age 11 that protects against infections caused by Tetanus, Diptheria, and Pertussis (Whooping Cough). Because of increasing reports of Whooping Cough and increased infant deaths in the last 2 years, we are working hard to protect infants, children, adolescents and adults from Whooping Cough (caused by Pertussis). Most importantly we want to protect our newborn babies from being exposed or contracting whooping cough. Whooping cough is most dangerous and most devastating (occasionally fatal) for newborn babies (under 2 months of age) and infants under the age of 6 months. If you are around a newborn baby it’s essential you’ve had a Tdap shot at least once as an adult. Watch the video for more.
Keep in mind, even fully vaccinated adults can get pertussis. If you are caring for infants or young children, check with your health care provider about what’s best for your situation.
WHEN TO CALL THE PEDIATRICIAN: Pertussis infection starts out acting like a cold. You should consider the possibility of whooping cough if the following conditions are present:
The child is a very young infant who has not been fully immunized and/or has had exposure to someone with a chronic cough or the disease.
The child’s cough becomes more severe and frequent, or her lips and fingertips become dark or blue.
She becomes exhausted after coughing episodes, eats poorly, vomits after coughing, and/or looks “sick.”
How To Protect Your Family From Whooping Cough
The best way to prevent Pertussis (Whooping Cough) is to get vaccinated.
Children 7 to 10 years old who did not have their full DTP/DTaP series (2,4,6, and 15 months shots) need a Tdap shot.
Children with either an unknown or incomplete shot record/history before age 7 years of age need a Tdap shot.
All adolescents with an up-to-date record need the Tdap shot at the 11 year old well child check-up/visit.
Anyone over age 11 who has not previously received Tdap – when indicated.
There’s no minimum interval between Td and Tdap vaccines. Meaning, if you for some reason had a Td (“tetanus booster”) in the last few years, you still need a Tdap now to protect against whooping cough(Pertussis). No 5-10 year interval is required between the shot.
Vaccine protection for pertussis, tetanus and diphtheria fades with time, so adults need a booster shot. Experts recommend adults receive a Td booster every 10 years and substitute a Tdap vaccine for one of the boosters.
Getting vaccinated with Tdap is especially important for adults who are around infants – new parents, grandparents, babysitters, nannies, and health care providers.
A recent study confirmed that there is limited time with pediatricians for well baby care. The Pediatrics study surveyed parents retrospectively about their well-baby visits with pediatricians; 1/3 of parents reported having less than 10 minutes with the doctor! I say this can still be a great place for partnership, reassurance, diagnosis, and care even if time is limited. As a parent, you have to be a pro, too. Plan ahead, prioritize questions for the doctor, and help set the agenda for the visit when the pediatrician walks in the room. It’s always okay to ask (anything) and it’s always okay to return for follow-up visit, too.
Maximizing Time With Your Baby’s Pediatrician:
Set an agenda. The minute the pediatrician walks in the room, tell them what you want to learn during the visit and what worries or stumps you most about your baby or your parenting. If you help shape the agenda, you’ll avoid those painful “door-handle” conversations where the doc tries to leave (because there are other patients waiting and there is no more time) and you feel rushed and dejected. No one likes those conversations. If your doctor isn’t good at agenda-setting, you can be. Remember this is a partnership, not a dictatorship…
Because time is unfortunately always limited, prioritize your questions. You may have 15 questions, but list them out in order of concern/preference. As your pediatrician asks their own questions and completes a comprehensive physical exam of your baby, it’s possible to ask others and you may find yourself surprised that they addressed concerns you had without prompting. But prioritize so you don’t forget the last (and possibly most important) question of all.
It’s always okay to ask. ANYTHING. Don’t shy away from questions because your doc has limited time. If necessary come back a week or month later if you’re still wondering about something you need to clarify.
It’s okay to schedule a follow-up visit. One of the pitfalls in well baby care is that many parent want to squeeze 2 or 3 visits into one. During a well baby visit, there is a lot to accomplish (some studies find that docs are supposed to cover over 50 topics). So if you are also concerned about an acute or new illness/behavior problem, consider scheduling a separate visit. You’ll likely all be more satisfied with how you can get what you need and how you can partner to protect and prevent illness and injury for your baby or child.
Don’t leave empty handed! Ask the doctor what websites or online references you should read for more information after the visit.
Nosebleeds are a common frustration during childhood. Although finger-nose-picking is a common cause, other climate changes (dry), medication use (nasal sprays), and other medical problems (rarely) can be the cause. The best advice? Don’t panic. And do your best to help prevent nosebleeds: stop the picking (GOOD LUCK), use humidifiers in children’s rooms, nasal saline spray, or Vaseline. And, keep a towel handy. One of the best ways to calm down when the blood is gushing is to sop it all up.
My quick tips:
Don’t stick anything up your child’s nose to stop the bleeding.
Don’t have your child lean back, rather apply pressure to the nose for 10 complete minutes while your child is tipped slightly forwards.
He exceeded expectations. Our little boys do that, it seems. And like every parent, I glow and gleam and glitter when they do. Today little O exceeded. Today was O’s first day of school. And although I am the one who housed the separation anxiety this morning, I expected him to miss us at some point. Pick his head up and look for me. Or look back over his shoulder. Or ask where we were. Or wonder about his role in the room. Or go looking for his brother.
Turns out, no. The note from the head teacher described a “duck to water” and “no moments of upset.” No accidents. No crying. No trouble. She ended the email with “watching him smile all over the place was a joy.” Are you kidding me? Yes, that’s my boy. My Our boy.
This is no guarantee for tomorrow, and I get that and I expect the tantrums and the imperfect moments, too. But this is a day to celebrate. 3 years ago today I was on bed rest. Wondering, worrying, wishing, and hoping for health. Today my little boy started school. It is jaw-dropping-roof-blow-off-mesmerizing moment for me. What these children can do. For themselves and for those of us privileged enough to witness their lives. Independence is an incredible gift.
O marched into his role as a preschool-student triumphantly. The only one in tears was me. And then his brother, at the end of the day. Sometimes this little boy lays out his scientific method for strength. Like a Marine, he’s always happy to be the first one through the door.
I see this as a glass half-full, glass half-empty issue. Yesterday, a study was published in Pediatrics detailing research conducted in May of 2010 about parents’ preferences to use alternative vaccination schedules versus following the recommended CDC vaccination schedule. The majority of the media coverage focused on the finding that over 10% of parents followed a schedule other than the one recommended by the CDC. Not perfect and not ideal from a public health stand point. Yet, of course, the other way to see this is that nearly 90% of parents did follow the physician-recommended schedule. That’s a pretty good success rate for doctors.
As a pediatrician practicing in Washington State, I saw this study half-full. As I read through the methods, results, and discussion, I took notes on the cover page. I actually made that little doodle. I couldn’t help but think about the nearly 90% of families (87%) who followed the recommended schedule to protect their children and their communities. Clearly 87% is not 100% (I get that) and it leaves our communities and our children at risk, but I believe we can continue to improve trust with ongoing education.
Focusing on the group that does vaccinate their children on the schedule may be a good strategy to understanding where we can improve our communication about the benefits of vaccination. We often focus on the group that doesn’t vaccinate but we miss insight from those of us who do immunize our children on the schedule.
Details: The study was conducted on over 2000 respondents, where 771 families qualified by reporting having a child between 6 months and 6 years of age. They were asked if they followed the CDC schedule and then if they didn’t, they were asked to answer a series of closed-ended questions regarding the nitty gritty of the schedule they used. Parents’ age, gender, race/ethnicity, and level of education and family insurance were collected.
Influenza causes more hospitalizations than any other vaccine-preventable illness. It’s not just kids at risk for complications (asthmatics, diabetics, children with complex heart disease or immune problems) that die from the flu. Nearly 1/2 the children who died in this last year in the US were well, healthy children. PREVENT influenza, get a flu shot for all the members of your family. Although the flu vaccine dose is the same as last year, it’s recommended we all get a dose this season. For children who didn’t have a dose last year under the age of 9: they need 2 doses this year, separated by 1 month.
ERRATA: I said that 46% of all children who died between Aug 2010 and Aug 2011 were healthy kids. The correct number is even higher: 49% of the 115 children who died in the US were healthy children without significant flu risks. My apologies.
Our kids teach us a lot about life. Doesn’t matter if they’re in-utero, a newborn, a toddler, or a teen. An obvious statement of course, but not only do our children teach us about their journey, they teach us about our own. Today it happened again, O taught me something. He reminded me about self. He reminded me about our need to be who we say we are and our need to perform at our best. When we don’t, it can unravel us.
It is our own disappointment in self that stings the most. I thought about this while reading Dr Atul Gawande’s recent New Yorker piece entitled Personal Best. To me, Dr Gawande’s courageous act of getting an expert coach exceeds his desire to better himself as a surgeon and beat the national averages on complications. He wants to stay true to himself; he wants ongoing improvement and escalating precision. He doesn’t want to let himself down. If we let others down, it feels absolutely terrible. When we let ourselves down by acting against our integrity or mission, it can feel far worse. Visceral. Two things converged on me today: Read full post »
The husband just took the training wheels off of F’s bike this morning. Mind you, F never really needed the training wheels as he’d already learned how to balance on two wheels with his “balance bike” as a toddler. But this morning, as sun cast gorgeous light over Seattle, we realized there were 2 days left of summer here in the Pacific Northwest. So, my dear husband proclaimed it was time.
Thing is, the training wheels have been on for me. I’m terrified of that bike. I worry about speed, my loss of control over major injuries and big falls for my little boy, and I worry about the greater transition to him biking off and away from home. Remember when he got the bike in July? Well, I admit it, I’m scared of it. And even though the training wheels never really govern F’s speed or his decisions, they have been a great security blanket for me.
Helicopter parent, you betcha.
I really don’t care what you call me. Okay, I do on some level, please be nice. But know I have distaste for the labeling of parenting “styles” and decision-making. Particularly when it enters the research world. I hated the media blitz earlier this month about the study describing the risks surrounding “helicopter parents” and obesity. I mean, come on. All this categorizing doesn’t really help us. I may be “helicopter” with this decision and then absent-minded-laissez-faire with another. You, too?
Please wish me luck. F doesn’t need the luck, of course; part of me knows he’ll do very well and make good decisions. We’re having our dry run, sans the 3rd and 4th wheel, around 5pm today.
What about you? Was it a no-brainer to shed the training wheels? Tell me your tips on how to make this better (for both of us).
Seattle Children’s provides healthcare for the special needs of children regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, religion, sex (gender), sexual orientation or disability. Financial assistance for medically necessary services is based on family income and hospital resources and is provided to children under age 21 whose primary residence is in Washington, Alaska, Montana or Idaho.