We had a marvelous Father’s Day weekend. On Saturday we started a Dad-coached soccer team with some friends which was surprisingly successful. And then on Sunday, we completed our first-ever family bike ride on the Burke-Gillman trail. Everyone had two wheels of their own, including Grandma. Although O ended up in the ditch at one point after steering off-course, it was an injury-free ride and we proclaimed it a success. I think we all felt really grown up. We gave my husband a mixture of homemade gifts (paintings) and then a trite, expected one (a necktie). We played ball in the yard, pulled weeds from the grass, and Jonathan got a bit of time to himself for a run. When we went out for Italian food and ordered Shirley Temples we formally celebrated the fortune of having a father parenting so actively in our lives. The boys began the day with exclamations and closed it with a final, “Happy Father’s Day” after the lights went out. It was then that I realized it’s prime time for this holiday in our home.
I get that Father’s Day isn’t this Hallmark in everyone’s home and I certainly understand it won’t always be like this. These manufactured holidays bring up thoughts of the tension and distance many of us feel from our own fathers. I also think about my friends and patients who have lost their fathers and those children who are separated from their fathers due to work, military commitments, or unique family circumstances. Last week one of my colleagues pointed out that children had eras in their lives where Father’s Day was on the map; young children adore and celebrate but then retreat as we’d expect during the late school-age years. “They tend to check back in during young adulthood,” he said.
And it got me thinking: is there a way to keep the intimacy of preschool-parenthood alive? Read full post »