‘holidays’

All Articles tagged ‘holidays’

Attempt To Maintain Mindful Gifting

cutting down the treeIt’s a commercial time of year, of course. It’s a challenge to help our children enjoy the holidays mindfully amidst all the products, gift-giving, and hopes for things. The rip-open-all-gifts urgency is seemingly innate to most young children. Amazing how our kids can stay on task when it involves opening awesome toys and gifts!

It’s really hard to celebrate the real bounty in life, that of friendship and generosity, in a world that really does focus so much attention marketing what we “need.” Holidays can get swept sideways if we don’t do a good job describing what they mean, why we celebrate, why we go way out of our way to stay home from work to ritualize things, cook huge dinners, and fly all over the country to be with those we love. I’m clearly not doing a perfect job. Exhibit A: Read full post »

Getting It “Right”: Birthdays In Mommyland

My quarterly crisis is rearing its very ugly head. See, it’s birthday season around here and while the boys’ birthdays overlap with the holiday season, I tend to feel an irrepressible need to reflect. Holidays and birthdays are momentous moments, but also markers of time. Places on the calendar and spaces in my heart for subscribed reflection and perspective gathering.

So it is now, this time of year, where I seem to struggle the most with my choices as a mom and a doctor, a wife and a daughter, a community member and a girl just trying to get it all “right.”

I cry every year on my boys’ birthday. The tears well up both out of joy (wow-wow-wow my little boys love getting older & their joy with the special day grows annually) and also out of sadness. Sadness in my ongoing strife with the question of shifting balances, purpose, goals, and daily mindfulness. Am I working too much, am I missing something, am I as present as I can be? Should I be home more? Should I contribute and write more? Should I be seeing more patients? Can I help more people than I am helping today?

I’m torn. Shred up about what is “right” (for me) and on birth day, I’m nearly emulsified. This is tough stuff. As the years tick by and the acknowledgement of mortality grows as the days seem seep into the ether, I really want to have no regret. Sometimes, like most humans, I do.

Part of the trouble is the words of all the parents around me. They all say the exact same thing. And they have been saying it to me for over 5 years. I know they say it to you, too. The woman at the grocery, the mentor or peer, my good friend, the doctor across the country, the parents in my clinic, my mother, the barista, the man helping me at the parking garage…. They all say the exact same thing when they see my boys:

“It just goes too fast.”

 

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Establish Traditions: Seattle Mama Doc 101

Establishing traditions can be an incredible way to connect, mark time, and affirm a sense of well being in your family. You can establish any tradition you want–one of the rare perks of being a grown-up. Even if family circumstances change (a divorce or separation, a death in the family, a move to a new city) you can adapt, addend, and alter your traditions. Your kids can help you sort out new rules as necessary. Those traditions really may establish a sense of calm for your children.

And really, as you make or restart some traditions at home, don’t stress about extravagance. Sometimes the best traditions are the most simple and come with absolutely no price tag. A walk with a football after dinner each Thanksgiving. Unscheduled or unplugged time the same day every year. Eating pickles on Black Friday. Standing outside in the snow as the New Year arrives. Whatever it is, it can be all yours. And your children will remember.

Start or establish rituals this holiday season and then repeat, repeat, repeat. Share your favorite traditions; what can we all be doing that we haven’t thought of?

Create A Spirit of Giving

15 Meaningful Holiday Traditions

 

Halloween: Wicked Scary Tantrums

I like Halloween far more as an adult than I ever did as a child. At least that is how it feels now. Witnessing the excitement this year around casa Swanson has been a hoot. Not all easy though. Like I have mentioned before, holidays come with all sorts of novel stresses that our children experience differently. Then mix in a whole bunch of costumes and candy and…imagine.

On Friday, our little O had a mega-tantrum at the preschool parade. So loud, so ornery, so insistent that he never donned the costume and never got near walking in the parade. The tantrum ended only after arriving at home. I was feeling entirely terrible already as I was out of town and unable to make it to the parade, but when the husband called me at the airport and told me it was better that I wasn’t there after all, I felt even worse. The Mama-ache reached new heights. Although I mentioned that day one of preschool was a heroic moment, days 2 through 25 have been (typically) different.

Tantrums are wicked-scary-terribleness sometimes. The public grimaces, and then points and whispers and stares and judges. Our children’s friends and peers run the other way. And we parents look like out-of-control-bats. Tantrums can be very Halloween, actually. A post on the New York Times Motherlode blog yesterday couldn’t have come at a better time. Read full post »

Happy Mother’s Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Mother’s Day. If anything, holidays like today place a stamp on this day amidst the irrevocable march of time. Photos, cards, gifts, mentions, and memories..a moment or day where we reflect, compare, and remember with those from the past. Last year on Mother’s Day it was sunny, my family had a picnic on a hill with fried chicken, and neither of my children were old enough/able to make a homemade card. We played airplanes (the kind where kids fly on your legs), drank sparkling water, and I celebrated my mom’s health amidst a cycle of chemotherapy. It was a good day; I felt love and loved, simultaneously. Sandwiched in the best way I know. Read full post »

Traditions (At Halloween)

I’m big on creating traditions. Wish I had more of them, actually. If Halloween was a day to make resolutions, I would pledge to increase my family traditions. But I’m mixing holidays like metaphors…

Children thrive when expectations are fulfilled (think routine, routine, routine); and traditions can be cement in the routine mold. There is something lovely about repeating an activity to mark the importance of a particular day or particular time of year. I mean, this is what birthday celebrations are all about.

Both of the boys’ birthdays are coming up in the next few weeks. Because of Maryann’s (see her comment) contribution to the blog a couple weeks ago, I’m starting the new tradition of kissing the boys at just the moment they were born. A virtual stamp of time and place. Driving to and from work this week (my down time), my head kept returning to thoughts about the new tradition. A big, wet smoooch that I’m giddy about it; it seems an entirely intimate tradition. Now I’m just sitting around waiting for 1:18pm and 3:11pm to roll around. Maryann, thank you for the idea of this symbolic tradition. I figure his tradition can also serve as an insurance plan, too. I will be exactly where I want to be in those birthday moments: with my boys. Read full post »