‘parenting’

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Can’t Stop Time

photo (58)I take solace sometimes knowing I can’t stop time. When I look to the clock and trade panic for solace it’s a way to distance myself from the reality that as time marches on in its infinite human construction, I don’t have to think about moments with the boys lost. Every parent hears over and over again that, “it just goes so fast.” I find that advice never helps. Just makes us feel like time with our beloved little humans is slipping through our fingers and I can’t imagine a parent who feels good about that.

My little boy is no longer allowed to be entirely in my grasp as the doors of that big schoolhouse open forever next week. My 5 year-old starts Kindergarten and it’s pretty clear to me that from here forward there will be many forces facilitating his gradual exploration of the world away from our cozy nest.

The solace I mention is real though and it helps me. At moments I can feel the space and peace that comes in knowing I have literally no control over his aging and what it provides — like giving into the wind I can lean into this space and know what a privilege it is to witness this wild ride. It certainly helps that he clearly loves the speed with which life is hurling at him. I see it in moments where he looks at the Kindergarten class list and in the moments where he sticks his right foot out while standing next to his bike and poses as if he’s ready to take a big stage and I feel his thrill as he looks over to his older brother and realizes he finally belongs at the same school. Growing up really is quite a thing to behold.

Being a part of something bigger is a huge part of being human and school is an essential first (or second) step

And although that solace I just mentioned is real I can’t help but tell you that there is certainly a part of me that suffers in these waning summer days. I feel the excitement yes, I lean into the solace yes, but as a working mom I can’t help wonder, “did I do this all right?” Were the last 5 and 1/2 years exactly what I imagined for his time at home preparing for the onslaught of schooling? Was I present, available, ready, and everything I wanted to be? Well, surely not. It’s clear my iPhone got in the way, as did my job, and my ambition to improve children’s health. Thankfully there are ways he shows me he knows he’s got my attention but I can’t help but trip (and fall) sometimes knowing there are infinite ways to raise a child and I do look at those other paths with curiosity.

Today let me tell you this: I’ll hold onto the solace every single moment I see it and I’ll let it mix up with the suffering. I can gently mute the parts of pain that comes with aging and losing the intimacy found between mother and son during toddlerhood and the preschool years. I’ll find that solace when I feel the thrill from peering over the edge of this great big world ahead of him. One thing I know for certain is I’ll enjoy the first moments of Kindergarten next week, too. This little boy of mine is growing up to be a thoughtful, curious, kind, and happy little man. It’s his excitement for the next giant step that will tug me along into September…

On hand-holding

handholdingThe boys still eagerly hold my hand when we go out and about. And it’s not just when we cross the street. I find that, my 5 year-old in particular, will just show up alongside me while we’re walking and all of the sudden his hand will be in mine. Divinity. This little hand doesn’t go unnoticed and I suspect although it won’t always come so frequently or so eagerly or so spontaneously, I’ll get to hold my son’s hands throughout my life if I ask. I really do treasure that hand in mine.

There is nothing of more value than this love of family we find as our children grow. Nothing more striking really than the intimacy that can exist between a family totally in love.

When we’re walking hand-in-hand my mind often slips to a stunning obituary I read last summer. In it, Jane Catherine Lotter (who wrote her own obituary) details her life’s achievements, her love for family, her gratitude and wisdom, and her memories. As she’s closing the piece she says, “At any rate, I am at peace. And on that upbeat note, I take my mortal leave of this rollicking, revolving world-this sun, that moon, that walk around Green Lake, that stroll through the Pike Place Market, the memory of a child’s hand in mine.”

There’s wisdom in clarity and it seems to me Jane had it and was generous enough to share it. One distillation of life’s joy being a child’s hand in her own. When you hold onto that hand today perhaps take notice of the extraordinary thing it is to have it curled up inside your own. I mean, wow.

20 Minutes

photo (43)When it comes to food allergies, expert parents are uniquely-positioned educators. They know the tricks of the trade and the ways to the oasis of safety in a culture that has yet to fully embrace supporting children with unique medical needs. Over the years in practice, it’s parent-food-allergy-experts that have taught me the greatest new lessons I now pass on routinely to patients. Marrying the life-threatening nature of food allergy to the concepts of strict avoidance to the use of medication to treat anaphylaxis will never be enough when supporting children, their families, and their schools. The essential advice may be locating the inspiration families need to be staunch, relentless, and tireless advocates for their children. Even when uncomfortable. It’s Food Allergy Awareness week and some just-in-time allergy info has arrived.

This post, this concept, this advocacy, this is Mom-to-Mom health care. Enjoy this post from the ever-brilliant mom and researcher, Susannah Fox (her bio below)

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Once a year, I give a high-stakes presentation in front of a single audience member: my son’s teacher. I have 20 minutes to teach her how to save his life.

I need to explain the science of food allergy, list all of his many allergens, accurately describe the symptoms of anaphylactic shock, instill an appropriate sense of urgency and responsibility with one or two frightening stories, but also build her confidence so she does not tune out or give up prematurely. Read full post »

Digitally Savvy Parenthood

As a pediatrician, I encourage families to search online for health advice. Yet how you search and where you click matters. Tips for you and your time with “Dr Google” or “Surgeon Bing.”

The Pew Internet Project’s research finds that over 70% of Internet users in the United States say they have looked online for health information in the last year. Furthermore, most health information seekers (ie freaked out parents searching in the middle of the night) don’t start their health search on their pediatrician’s website. More than ¾ of people in the United States start their health search by typing something into a search engine like Google or Bing. Where you click and what you do next is key.

As a mom, pediatrician, blogger and general online enthusiast, here are a few insights to assist you when looking online for health information for your child or family. We parents are active information seekers on our phones and computer ~ I maintain that this is a GREAT thing! For practicing physicians, there is a tricky balance in believing that the Internet can help save lives. Have You Been In To See Doctor Google? A few ideas to improve trust for us all.

7 Tips For Becoming A Savvy Digital Parent:

Read full post »

Finding Calm And Confidence

Mama Doc Medicine Cover Hi-ResOfficial launch of my book is…… today! Mama Doc Medicine: Finding Calm and Confidence in Child Health, Parenting, and Work-Life Balance. I’m seeing patients in clinic today but certainly am planning on walking over to the bookstore during my lunch break at clinic to see if it’s there. That will be a first…

More than anything, I wrote Mama Doc Medicine to connect parents and families with science and story (see video below). Although in some regards this book was designed to be the perfect baby shower gift, it has information on parenting children at any age, work-life-balance, and tips for raising your children with great social emotional skills.  There is information about sunscreen on babies, fostering generosity, fighting cavities, Tina Fey, risks for SIDS, Measles in America, taking digital breaks from your cell phone, and chicken pox.

In addition to about 100 magazine length sections (perfect for reading while nursing or sitting in the bleachers waiting for practice to finish), there are tweets, infographics, bar graphs (bouncy house injuries!) and boxes with custom links to research, awesome parenting videos, and online resources I go to.

If you’re wondering just when and why the soft spot closes or exactly how much crying is normal for a one month-old, or are looking for simple ways to increase your family’s health (hint: go outside) this is for you. The book is available in bookstores everywhere today and of course, online. Kindle version is also available!

Book Reading And Appearances

similarities

The book has offered up a flurry of opportunity to talk about health and prevention, vaccine science, and my journey as a digital and public physician. In addition to a number of Seattle and Chicago appearances,  I’ll be on The Today Show on March 13th and interviewing with Katie Couric (and taking audience questions) on Katie in April. Would love to know you’re watching while I’m there…

I’ll be presenting and doing a book signing this weekend in Chicago at the American Academy of Pediatric Expo — the first ever Healthy Children educational event designed for parents and children. Only $8 to attend (kids are free). I’m doing a talk with 10 things families should know and a book signing at 12pm (first 300 books are free and we can connect in real life!).

Next couple book readings are near Seattle: University Book Store (March 20) and Third Place Books (April 9th) and Village Books (April 26th) Read full post »

The Moment Is Now

Today my heart is stuck in my typical quarterly crisis about how I’m spending time on earth. Each goodbye with the boys leaves me a bit emptied. I planned to write about kids’ check-ups and health insurance today, which I will do– but tomorrow, because my heart is here:

It’s becoming more obvious to me that the current work-life-balance crisis I’m swirled up in (or smashed into) was triggered by the recent deaths of 2 people I loved, a delicious movie about connection and time, the juxtaposition in watching Jimmy Fallen express love for his Winnie just a minute before Will Smith mentioned everyone’s art could be used to enhance lives, and a voice in me that’s getting louder and louder. I’m hearing the echoes of this voice in almost everything I do right now. Yes I desperately want to work to improve children’s health. Yes I desperately want to witness my life. The gist of the echoes are urging me to consider how I carve out time for mindfulness and unhurried time with the boys. Over the last 24 hours I also read two articles, “Recline! How ‘Leaning In’ is Killing Us” and “Clinging to Each Other, We Survived the Storm” and I knew I could sit quietly no longer. (pssst, read those articles) Read full post »

Want A Copy Of Mama Doc Medicine?

Mama Doc Medicine Cover Hi-ResMama Doc Medicine shipped from online retailers over the weekend. It’s been such an exciting time to hear from colleagues and friends all over the US reading the book. Much of the book content stems from writing I’ve shared here and I remain so thankful for all those who continue to help me learn how to translate science and health information.

Like every blogger on planet earth, I’m so thankful for comments on the blog. I learn a ton from parents, pediatricians, and all you experts here. Conversation can be exceptionally fruitful. As a tiny token of appreciation for the comments (you can also read about my appreciation in the Acknowledgment section of the book) I’m giving away 20 copies of the book to loyal followers and commenters. I’ll sign and endorse the book for you or for whomever you’d like!

2 Ways To Get A Signed Copy Of Mama Doc Medicine:

  1. If you’re a loyal follower and/or specifically a loyal commenter (Viki, you know who you are) please leave a comment below. WordPress (the service that hosts the blog) knows how many comments you’ve left previously (it tracks commenters by the email address you use when leaving a comment). However if you’re a loyal reader who doesn’t leave comments, will you please leave a comment below so I know you’ve been here reading? For 10 who respond/comment here, we’ll send copies to you as a thanks! Leave a comment below (perhaps including a post you’d like me to write). I’ll email you back for details to send you a book if you’re one of the frequent commenters or prove/insist you’re a very loyal reader :-) You have 1 week (until March 4th) to leave a comment. Please do!
  2. 10 copies of the book will also be gifted through GoodReads giveaway (just click on the link, register on Good Reads, and enter). Ten winners will be randomly selected by GoodReads as winners. You have until March 4th to enter the GoodReads giveaway as well.

Many thanks for all of your support. Really hope you enjoy the book and find the links, infographics and stories helpful!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Mama Doc Medicine by Wendy Sue Swanson

Mama Doc Medicine

by Wendy Sue Swanson

Giveaway ends March 04, 2014.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

 

We Want Your BPOD

And now for something a little different….We want to animate your child’s BPOD (Best Part of Day). Send us a short recording of your child talking about their BPOD and we’ll bring their experience to life in an animated video (see video above)! We’ll never disclose their name or age, just share their journey and insight through their words.

Email your recording to my Seattle Mama Doc email (seattlemamadoc@seattlechildrens.org) by Feb 26, and we’ll select 5-10 recordings to animate and share the first week of March. As a note, I typically record these audio recordings on my iPhone (in “voice memos”) and it allows me to email or share them easily. See below for more details & the text you’ll need to include when you send your audio files! Read full post »

My Three Valentines

Valentine constructionI had to bring my valentine supplies to work today. Have yet to construct them or profess my love on these big red hearts but I will before heading home. I’m not buying the boys any flowers or candy (their school friends did, thank goodness) but I do revel in the opportunity to put words on a heart each year on February 14th.

Yesterday I had meetings all day. The best part of my work day came at the end during a delightful interview (with ParentMap) when I was asked, “What time do you love or treasure most with your boys?” My response was totally off the cuff. But I’ll say, even just getting an opportunity to respond to the question was a huge delight. I’ve been reading and reflecting on how we share our journey of parenthood because of a Slate article I read earlier this week entitled, “My Life Is A Waking Nightmare.” The author protests the amount of negativity we share about parenthood.

As I reflected on the interview last night I realized it was the foundation for my three valentines. Everything in my heart is different after having children, of course. My romantic love for my husband remains and is nurtured with time but these little boys take up huge real estate now. For the rest of time I’ll always send at least 3 valentines. Just the way it is now after having my boys.

If you’re curious, here’s what I said (I’m paraphrasing). Don’t worry I’ll condense this for the cards!

Read full post »

Friday Night Tykes As Seahawks NFC Championship Beckons

Wait, did he just say what I think he did? (minute mark 1:18)

I want you to put it in his helmet…I don’t care if you don’t get up. Let’s go!

Or is it:

I want you to put it in his helmet…I don’t care if he don’t get up. Let’s go!

Either is grim. The new show, Esquire’s Friday Night Tykes, is getting quite a bit of attention. I suppose this was exactly the network’s intent but there are very few cells in my body that can stay quiet about this. Reality TV has submerged to profound depths.

Seahawks In Seattle!

We’re pulsing blue and green around here. There are 12s affixed to most every man-made structure in this town and our sense of Seattle-cohesion is undeniably improved. It’s exciting to dream of a Super Bowl win for our Seahawks. We’re ready for the 49ers this weekend (we even have our own Macklemore & Ryan Lewis playing at halftime) and most everyone in the Puget Sound is aware that football is providing a reason for giddiness. Like or hate the NFL, it’s my experience that we’re excited about our team…

First thing first: I know this is a pipe dream but I really wish a Seahawks player or coach would take the lead and discuss the disgust we should all have with Esquire and the crew involved in Friday Night Tykes promoting the abusive coaching. It’s an understatement to say that I’m outraged some think it is not only permissible for children to participate in this program but that we are willing to elevate the scenario and call it entertainment. Perhaps the NFL won’t permit this kind of public advocacy. Any ideas? Read full post »