It’s almost a relief that it’s summer vacation. For the sake of our children, I mean. The buzz about the horrific, deadening, jaw-dropping news regarding the massacre in Colorado may be slightly less focused at the center of their lives–they’re not congregating in the hall or at recess. Well, maybe. That’s the difference between 1999 and 2012–back when Columbine happened we all watched as television detailed the horrific events of a school shooting and the radio reported on the lockdown and a mourning community—but our children and teens weren’t on Facebook or Twitter or Youtube then. The stories weren’t quite as accessible–they weren’t in our pockets. Now we’re texting and streaming one video after another.
All this bad news takes its toll on us. It endorses the curiosity we have about tragedy and violence and it can trickle into present repeatedly. At some point, part of how we help our children and teens cope is by facilitating digital breaks. Unplug the phone, log off Facebook, and help your children mourn offline, understand how it may affect their plans, and encourage them to reach out for face-to-face support networks.
I agree with the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry:
There are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ways to talk with children about such traumatic events.
The 24-news cycle is amped-up, accessible, and ever-present. It fills us with information by the second & minute, not the hour. Our children and teens learn, hear, and spread responses with unparalleled rapidity. Never before did we consume media and news like we do today. Even daily hours of television viewing are increasing. We’ve also piled our digital time on top of it. This tragedy seeps into our centers.
After a cafe shooting here in Seattle in June and ongoing mass shootings throughout our country, I think we’re profoundly scared. Our culture encourages and enjoys violence in movies and video games. Shootings are glorified and little babies and children bear witness to death (at early ages) via digital & traditional media and advertising. The NRA fights to keep guns accessible. Politicians have attempted (and failed) to censor conversations about gun safety in the pediatrician’s office. Even today, influential leadership avoids discussions about gun control. All this and then we chat, talk, tweet, stream, and absorb violence with a hunger. It’s just so horrifying that sometimes it’s hard not to watch. We follow along in bed, on the bus, in our cars (!), and during our face to face time with loved ones and family. This news is upsetting and torrential. Many of us are left feeling a bit helpless or vulnerable. So are our children.
Now is the time to be assertive with your children. Listen more than you talk. And maybe commit to turn off your phones as much as you can.
7 Tips To Support Your Children After The Aurora Shooting
- Hearing about events like the massacre in Colorado makes us feel increasingly vulnerable. Read full post »